Ninjas and Demons and Dog Ears, Oh My! Revamped!
by xXxTickleMeEmoxXx
Summary: Inuyasha and my OC, Kiyone, is transported to the Naruto world! Will they survive from the insanity! Read and find out! A NarutoInuyasha crossover with a few OC's! Bits of romance here and there...Suckish summary, I know...Cheesy humor, R&R plz!
1. Dog ears?

**xTMEx: Ello! This is a remake of my story, it's basically the same stuff, except in an easier to read format, and a bit of upgraded wording where it needs it. (I've gotten better, can you believe it?!) The next chapters are coming soon (I hope) and I have to get together with Stephano to catch up with all the notes that we've written and put it into the story...We've gotten to about Chapter 6...DON'T KILL ME! PLEASE! I love you all and enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: xXxTickleMeEmoxXx doesn't own Naruto or Inuyasha even though she would kill herself if she had to in order to own them, but she knows that it'll only happen when hell freezes over...But she does own Kiyone. And Stephano Hungary owns Ryoko Waizu and Hakari.**

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**_- Ch_****_apter 1: Dog Ears! -_**

"Well, now that that's over with...We had better get back to HQ and give Itachi that dreaded report." Ryoko said with an exasperated sigh. A wolf trotted up beside her and sat down at Ryoko's feet as the kunoichi kneeled down to pet her.

"Let's ditch this place Hakari." She said. Hakari barked happily and licked Ryoko's cheek. They both darted off, leaving the dead corpses of Sound Nins behind.

Ryoko Waizu is a 15 year old kunoichi, and she is one of the very few who became part of the Akatsuki. Her story and past, we'll reveal later.

Her outfit consists of a black jacket with a fishnet shirt underneath and black capris, accompanied by fingerless black gloves, a fishnet choker, and a headband from the Village Hidden in the Mist around her waist, but the only difference is a horizontal mark across it, indicating that she was a member of the Akatsuki.

Hakari, on the other hand, had a white "x" shape that covers her snout, eyes, and chin. She also has a large white smudge on her chest, and her paws are all white as well.

On their way back to the Akatsuki hideout for their next mission, Ryoko spotted two shadowed figures fighting a large demon. One looked like a boy around the age of 17 wearing a red old-fashioned kimono, **(A/N - -cough cough- M.C. Hammer pants -cough cough-)** while the other had the figure of a girl of the same age--who was wearing a tighter, black and red kimono-- and they both had...

"DOG EARS?" Ryoko yelled loudly.

The female immediately looked in Ryoko's direction and got the boy's attention.

"Hey Inuyasha! Look! A human...And a wolf!" She said.

"Look, we don't have time for that right now!" Inuyasha spat. "We've got bigger problems!"

"Okay, okay! Don't blow a fuse, sheesh!"

"Heh. All right, that's it! I'm tired of this guy! WIND SCAR!" Inuyasha cried.

Suddenly, a bright yet destructive aura came from Inuyasha's big-ass sword and raced towards the demon.

"Whoa...pretty lights..." Ryoko said in wonder as she sat on a tree branch. She then shook her head and studied the attack quickly but carefully. Ryoko jumped down and ran along side the aura with amazing speed.

"This won't be enough to take out that demon...Looks like these guys could use some help. HAKARI!" She shouted to her partner in crime.

Hakari ran on the other side of Inuyasha's Wind Scar. "Bark Bark!" **(A/N - Howling Wolf Jutsu)**

All of a sudden, a blue/white aura formed from Hakari's mouth and combined with the Wind Scar.

"All right then, now it's my turn! Fire Style, Fireball Jutsu!" Ryoko said. She put her first two fingers together and put them to her thumb, then her mouth. A fireball formed from her mouth and combined with the Wind Scar also. It then collided with the demon and destroyed it.

"Ah, it burns! IT BURNS!!!!" The demon cried in agony as it was being blown to bits.

"Okay kid, who are you, and what do you want?" Inuyasha questioned irritably.

"Hey, I'm not a kid! I'm 15, thank you!" Ryoko said with an triumphant look on her face.

"Uh-huh...So...Ya mind telling us who you are?" Inuyasha said while crossing his arms.

"Huh? Oh, oh yeah! Ryoko Waizu, at you're service!" Ryoko said, bowing. She opened one of her eyes and saw that Hakari was looking into the distance.

"Hey, Hakari! Work with me here!" Ryoko said through her teeth. Hakari came back to earth and laid down with her head on her paws.

Ryoko straightened up and put a big grin on her face. "What're your names?"

The girl stepped forward towards Ryoko and outstretched her hand.

"Hi, I'm Kiyone, and this is Inuyasha." Kiyone looked at Inuyasha, who was looking away, and jabbed him in the ribs.

"Say hello, Inuyasha." She hissed.

"Ow! ...Hey." Inuyasha reluctantly said. He glanced down at Hakari and pointed at her.

"Hey, that wolf isn't like one of Koga's, is she?" Inuyasha yelled.

"She doesn't look like it. The cutie's a lot tamer, plus she's prettier then those homely mutts of his." Kiyone said while she knelt on the ground and scratched behind Hakari's ears.

"I have a question. Where the hell are we?" Inuyasha asked Ryoko.

"You guys aren't from around here...Are you?" Ryoko asked, noticing their clothes. Kiyone laughed a little.

"How could you tell?"

"Well, first, you don't know heads or tails of where you are, and second...you're clothes." Ryoko pointed out.

"Oh. Yeah." Kiyone said, feeling stupid.

"Sooooooooo...Why do you guys have dog ears? And why are you wearing kimonos?" Ryoko questioned.

"Well we--"

"And why is your hair silver?" Ryoko asked Inuyasha. She then went to Kiyone.

"And why is your's black with silver streaks? Are you stressed out and/or getting old? Because I read that if you get stressed out a lot, your hair tends to get a silver color faster, even if you're not old yet." Ryoko nodded quickly. Kiyone and Inuyasha looked at each other, then back at Ryoko.

"...Wha?" Inuyasha said, obviously confused. Ryoko looked at Inuyasha's eyes, then Kiyone's.

"Whoa! Your eyes are cool! Why are your's gold? And why are your's red? I've always wanted to get red contacts, but Itachi won't let me, since his eyes are red too because of the Sharingan and everything. Oh cool, you guys have fangs! Are you part vampire or something? Because it's not every day that you see someone with fangs." She said in a flurry or words. She faced Inuyasha.

"Dude, why is your hair so long? And why are your nails all long and pointy even though you're a guy? Oh, I get it!" Ryoko said.

"Girly man!" She said in a voice that sounded similar to Arnold Schwarzenegger's accent.

Inuyasha's eye started twitching and he crossed his arms.

"If you're implying that I'm gay, then you are COMPLETELY insane! I am not gay in any way...Unlike Jakotsu. God, that guy scared the living crap outta me!" Inuyasha shuddered. Kiyone patted his back in a loving way, trying to get his mind away from the events that scarred him so back at Mt. Hakurei.

"It's ok, Inuyasha...Jakotsu's dead...He's not gonna come back and molest you like he did in your nightmares." She said.

"But it seemed so real! So much soap...Make it stop, Kiyone, make it stop!" Inuyasha wailed. Ryoko and Hakari looked at the two as if to say, 'WTF is going on?'. Inuyasha stopped bawling and looked at Ryoko, then out of embarrassment, stood up and said,

"You didn't see that." Kiyone just blushed and scratched her head.

So, for the next 5 minutes, the four just stood there, staring at each other, not moving a muscle, nor saying a word. Until...Ryoko's stomach growled as if there was a rabid tiger nearby.

"Welp, I'm hungry. Let's go get some grub!" Ryoko said with a toothy grin.

"But we told you, we don't know anything about this place." Kiyone commented.

"Ah, don't worry, I know this land like the back of my hand! Besides, we're having ramen in Konoha, my treat! And deer meat for Hakari on the way!" Ryoko announced.

"RAMEN!" Kiyone and Inuyasha cheered.

"So...How did you guys get here anyways?" Ryoko asked curiously.

"Well, we were fighting the adamant demon, Hosenki, for the last shard if the Shikon Jewel, or the Jewel of Four Souls..."

**_-Flashback-_**

"INUYASHA!"

Inuyasha was falling, a trail of blood behind him. Everyone was at the Great Dog Demon's grave, fighting the adamant demon, Hosenki, who was possessed by a Jewel Shard. The only problem was, the shard was turning black. Inuyasha had been caught off guard, and was hit with projectiles that Hosenki had shot at him.

"Inuyasha!" Kiyone dove after him with no hesitation, hoping that he was ok.

"Fire!" She shouted. Kiyone waved over the blade of her hand over her sword and the blade became engulfed in flames as she landed on the ground.

Kagome's cries could be heard from above. "INUYASHA!!!"

"Jeez Kagome, shut up! You could hear her all the way from Nagasaki! Sheesh..." Kiyone said to herself as she covered her ears. She then spotted a red blob about 50 feet away from her on the ground.

"Inuyasha..."

**_-With the others-_**

_'Inuyasha...No, he can't be...'_ Kagome thought to herself as her eyes brimmed with tears. It was then a purple/red blob came from the sky to where they were.

"Naraku!" Miroku shouted. Naraku took form and as always, he protected by a barrier. **(A/N - COWARD!)**

"Kukukukuku...So Inuyasha has finally met his end...How convenient." Naraku laughed. He extended his fingers and began to reach toward the shard. They were about to penetrate the adamant armor when a great aura surrounded by tendrils of fire shot up from below.

"Isn't that Inuyasha's Wind Scar?" Miroku questioned.

"And Kiyone's magic!" Shippo added hopefully.

"Someone here is going to meet his end, and it ain't gonna be me, Naraku!" Came a voice from below. Kagome's eyes lit up with hope.

"Inuyasha!" She said happily. A skeleton bird came up from the mist with Inuyasha and Kiyone standing on its back.  
Inuyasha jumped off and landed on a rock formation.

"Naraku, we've had enough of you and your scheming! If you think you're getting that shard, then I'm afraid you're horribly mistaken!" Kiyone shouted. Tetsusaiga started to glow a deep red as Inuyasha got ready to use the Wind Scar.

"Darkness!" Kiyone said. Her sword turned pitch black as an orb began to form at the tip of the blade.

"WIND SCAR!"

"DARK DEVOTION!"

Inuyasha's Wind Scar and Kiyone's Dark Devotion combined and hit Naraku head on, but he deflected it, engulfed it with a demonic aura, and sent it back to Inuyasha.

"Great...BACKLASH WAVE!" Inuyasha sent the huge mass of demonic aura back to Naraku, but with double the power. The attack connected, but when the light show was over, Naraku nor his barrier had been affected at all.

"What?" Inuyasha yelled incredulously.

"Inuyasha, look! The shard!" Kiyone said. The shard was floating in the air, and it started to glow a deep purple and black.

"What's going on with the shard, Miroku?" Sango questioned.

"It looks as if its opening a portal to somewhere..." Miroku said half to himself. Miroku's guess was correct, as the shard opened a small portal.

"Inuyasha, we have to go after it! It's transporting itself to a different place!" Kiyone said.  
Naraku took this chance and went through the portal, chasing after the shard.

"Oh no you don't, Naraku!" Inuyasha said as he jumped off of the rock and through the portal, with Kiyone following close behind. The portal was closing, and fast as everyone else tried to follow, but when they were about to pass through, it disappeared.

_**-End Flashback-**_

"And poof, we're here in your world." Kiyone ended. Ryoko's eyes were wide with excitement.

"Wwwwooooowwww...Awesome!" Ryoko said as she threw her arms into the air.

"And I thought that the Shikon Jewel was just a myth, but it turns out that it's real! This is so cool!"

Kiyone's stomach growled.

"Yeah, let's just keep moving. I'm starving!" Kiyone complained.

"Sure thing." Ryoko said.

"So how did you guys get mixed up with this Naraku guy anyways?" Ryoko asked.

"Well, Inuyasha and I used to live in the same village as kids. His mother took me in since Naraku killed my parents when I was just an infant." Kiyone said.

"And when I turned 15, I went to go travel, and left everyone at the village." Inuyasha said.

"Shortly after, Naraku ambushed Akuryou Village and destroyed it. I wanted revenge, so I sought out to find him, but then I was kidnapped by some people who needed a strong fighter. Their leader was a demon who could cast spells to use mind control over whoever he wanted, and he cast it on me.

I became an assassin, killing anyone he wanted me to kill, and that was a lot too. I became the most feared being in all of Japan, and the fact that I'm a half demon didn't matter. The spell began to wear off after a few months and I finally was able to regain consciousness. I was so infuriated at that demon for making me an assassin that I walked into his room and just killed him. I met back up with Inuyasha, and I started traveling with him and our friends." Kiyone explained.

"Hmm. Your life as an assassin sounds just like being a shinobi." Ryoko said.

"You mean shinobi...As in a ninja?" Inuyasha asked.

"Yeah. This is a ninja world. As you can see, I'm a ninja also." Ryoko said as she pulled a kunai from her holster.

"Oh, man that's cool!" Kiyone exclaimed.

For the rest of the way, Inuyasha and Kiyone explained to Ryoko about how they were half demons, about Kikyo and the Shikon Jewel, Naraku, how he was connected to everyone, Kagome and the gang, Mt. Hakurei, the Band of Seven, and Tetsusaiga. In turn, Ryoko explained to them about the different villages, chakra, the shinobi ranks, Orochimaru, the Akatsuki, everything that they needed to know in order to fit in.  
As she finished up, they came across the gates to Konoha.

"Alright, this is Konohagakure, or Konoha. You know, one of the villages I told you about." Ryoko said.

"Before we go in, you guys have to put these on." She pulled out three headbands from her backpack that bore Konoha's emblem. Ryoko replaced the one on her waist and handed the other two to Kiyone and Inuyasha. Kiyone put hers around her neck, and Inuyasha put his around his left arm...Well he tried to. He had one end in his mouth and the other in his hand, trying to tighten it. Kiyone rolled her eyes and took the one end out of his mouth and tied it to the other one.

"Ewww...dog slobber." She groaned. Ryoko giggled and pushed open the gates...

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**xTMEx: Muhahahaha...cliff hanger!**

**Inuyasha: You're evil.**

**xTMEx: Yes, I am, now get back in my closet of doom!**

**Inuyasha: Why should I?**

**Stephano: Get back in there before I have to beat you with my TEDDY BEAR OF DOOOOOM! Hahahahahahahahahahaha...**

**Inuyasha: (whimpers, goes in Kiyo's closet)**

**xTMEx: That's a good boy. READ AND REVIEW OR DIE BY THE HANDS OF STEPHANO'S TEDDY BEAR OF DOOM! I love you all!**


	2. New Friends and Supposed Transvestites

**xTMEx: Hi everyone! Revamped format, aren't ya happy? 'Nother mini-party! (Same crazyness...)**

**Naruto: Yeah!**

**Ryoko: Krackatowa!**

**Guy: GET KRUNK AND GET DRUNK!**

**Everyone: (Stops dancing and looks at Guy like, '...The hell?')**

**Guy: Uhhh...Bye! (scurries off)**

**xTMEx: Erm...What was that?**

**Lee: (Runs in) Has anyone seen a guy with freaky deaky eyebrows like me and is wearing a-**

**Ryoko: (Points in the direction Guy went) He went that way...Again.**

**Lee: Thank you! (scurries off)**

**xTMEx: ...AWKWARD!!! Here's our disclaimer goodness!**

**Disclaimer: xXxTickleMeEmoxXx doesn't own Naruto or Inuyasha, but she does own Kiyone and Stephano Hungary owns Ryoko Waizu and Hakari.**

**xTMEx: ON TO THE SHOW...AGAIN!**

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**_- Chapter 2: New Friends, New Rivals, and Supposed Transvestites -_**

Ryoko pushed open the gates to Konoha, and when fully open, Inuyasha and Kiyone's jaw's immediately fell.

"Welcome to Konoha!" Ryoko said happily.

"Holy...This place is awesome!" Kiyone yelled, throwing her arms in the air. Inuyasha knelt down and started sniffing the ground like mad.

"Errrmm...What's he doing...?" Ryoko asked.

"You'll see." Kiyone replied. Suddenly, Inuyasha stood up straight and pointed in a certain direction.

"The ramen is that-a way!" He announced.

"Oh, he's good." Ryoko commented.

After doing a little sight-seeing, the four made it to the Ichiraku Ramen Bar. Inuyasha and Kiyone rushed to the chairs and sat down, signaling the chef.

"Yo! Gimme some Shoyu Ramen, over here!" Inuyasha yelled eagerly.

"Shio Ramen!" Kiyone said.

"Uhhh...I'll just have some Miso." Ryoko said.

"Shoyu ramen's better!" Inuyasha boasted.

"What? No it isn't! Shio ramen is healthier than that kind!" Kiyone retorted.

"Well at least it tastes better than that crap!" Inuyasha argued.

"I don't care about your ramen! I only care about MY ramen!" Kiyone spat.

_'Oh boy...This is going to be a long day.'_ Ryoko thought as she shook her head.

Inuyasha and Kiyone continued to argue to no end when a blonde haired boy in a orange jumpsuit walked up and sat in the chair beside Inuyasha. He ordered a bowl of ramen and the chef handed him one as he gave everyone else theirs.

"Hey, -slurp- I've never seen you guys -slurp- before." He said.

"Hmm?" Kiyone said, a bunch of noodles hanging from her mouth.

"Oh, I almost forgot! I'm Naruto Uzumaki! Who are you guys?" Naruto asked.

"I'm Kiyone, that's Ryoko, and this is Inuyasha." Kiyone said before stuffing more noodles in her mouth.

"Shup, Narutho." Inuyasha said with his mouth full.

"Hey, can I ask you guys something?" Naruto said.

"Yeah, what is it?" Inuyasha said while ordering more ramen.

"Why do you guys have dog ears? Are they real?" Inuyasha's eye started twitching as Naruto asked.

_'God, is EVERYBODY going to freakin' ask us about that?'_ He thought.

"Uhhh...I-It's a jutsu they created! Right guys?" Ryoko said nervously.

"Huh? O-Oh, yeah it is."

"So, are they real or not?" Naruto asked. Kiyone got up with a sigh and sat back down beside Naruto.

"If you want to know so bad, then just tug at them. Not too hard though." She said. Naruto pulled at them for about 10 minutes before Kiyone swatted his hands away.

"Hey, hey, hey, okay that's enough!"

"That's pretty cool, guys. What does your jutsu let you do?" He asked.

"Ummm...It amplifies all of your senses a lot, you get the ears for better hearing, you grow fangs and claws, and you can jump prrrrretty high." Inuyasha said. Kiyone gasped.

"I'm astonished that you could use such big words Inuyasha." She said mockingly.

"Oh, shut up." He said as Kiyone childishly stuck her tongue out at him.

"Wow, that sounds like Kiba's jutsu." Naruto commented.

"Hey, Inuyasha, you wanna have an eating contest?" Kiyone asked.

"Sure, I can beat you any day." He replied.

"Ok. How about we make this interesting? If I win, you have to hit on Sango when we get back."

"And if you lose?"

"I have to hit on Miroku." Kiyone said.

"Ha! Just make sure he doesn't grab your ass after you tell him he's hot!" Inuyasha taunted.

"Psh, you're kidding, right? I'm not about to lose to you." They both ordered a super-sized bowl and got ready to eat, chopsticks and all.

"Ready...? GO!" Ryoko yelled. The two started eating as much as they could stuff into their mouths. After a few minutes, Inuyasha started to slow down but kept eating, while Kiyone was still going. Eventually, Inuyasha fell off of his chair, thus forfeiting the contest to Kiyone.

"Oh yeah! I won! Who's the best now, Inuyasha?...Inuyasha?" Inuyasha had a dazed look and his eyes were little swirls.

"Too...much...to eat! Ugh..."

"Erm...Inuyasha? Inuyasha wake up! Agh..."

"Well guys, I've got to go somewhere, so I hope we see each other around town soon. It was nice meeting you!" Naruto said as he ran off towards the bridge.

"Let's go to the mall, Kiyone. If you guys are going to fit in, you need some new clothes." Ryoko said.

"Eh...Ok." So, they drrrrrraaaaaggggeeeeddd Inuyasha all the way to the Konoha Mall to buy some new duds.

When Ryoko opened the doors going into the mall, Kiyone looked flabbergasted, **(A/N- Big word!)** and Inuyasha finally woke up, only to scream like a girl and faint once more.

"Good lord, the man fainted again!" Ryoko shouted. Kiyone sighed and shook her head.

"Men. You can't ever live with 'em, or understand what the hell is going on in their tiny little brains." She said.

"Ain't that the truth." Ryoko agreed.

They walked into a store and looked at a bunch of clothes when an evil smile appeared on Ryoko's face.

"Hey, Kiyone, let's dress him up." Ryoko said.

"Oh yeah..." Kiyone said evilly. So that's just what they did, and when they were done, Inuyasha looked like some alien -cough- princess -cough cough- Neji -cough- with a lot of make-up on.

"Doesn't he look adorable?" Ryoko squealed as she put a squiggly headband thing on his head. Hakari just looked plain disgusted. Kiyone all of a sudden busted out laughing at Inuyasha.

"He looks ridiculous!" She choked out. "Just wait 'till he wakes up!"

And right on cue Sleeping Beauty woke up, and Ryoko happened to have a mirror, so she put it up to his face.

"Hey Kiyone, who's the sexy lady in the mirror?" He asked. Kiyone's drew back and her eye started twitching. Ryoko giggled.

"It's you Inuyasha. You're the 'sexy lady in the mirror'!" Ryoko shouted.

"OH MY GOD, I JUST CALLED MYSELF A SEXY LADY?"

"You betcha!"

"Well, I do look damn sexy if I do say so myself." He said, taking the mirror and inspecting his face.

"Oh dear God...WHAT HAVE WE DONE, RYOKO?" Kiyone shouted, shaking her violently by the shoulders.

"Kiyo, help me get this stuff off my face!" Inuyasha yelled.

After Inuyasha's face was finally clean, he started looking for a new shirt.

"Hmmmm...No...Nope...Ha, definitely no...Hey, this one looks pretty cool." He said as he pulled a jacket off the rack.

"Hey, how the heck do I figure out what the price is? I guess I'll ask one of the people working here." Inuyasha spotted a girl with long brown hair that was tied at the bottom with bandages on her right arm and leg, and she was talking to another girl with brown buns and a pink shirt. He went over to her and tapped her on the shoulder with the shirt in hand.

"Excuse me, miss?" The girl with buns looked at Inuyasha weird.

"Uhh...Neji?"

The girl turned around with an angry look on her face.

"I'm a guy." Neji said darkly.

"Oh! Sorry." Inuyasha said. Kiyone came up behind him and put her hand on his shoulder.

"Nice going, smart one!" She hissed.

"I coulda sworn you were a girl from behind." He apologized.

"Speak for yourself..." Neji muttered.

"SAY WHAT NOW? You know very well I can kick your ass, short stuff!" Inuyasha yelled.

"Inuyasha, we don't have time for that! Come back over here and behave for once!" Kiyone scolded.

"Grrrr...Fine."

Ryoko helped the two choose some clothes, and that took a pretty long while, since they weren't being very cooperative...

Inuyasha was wearing a black jacket with 3 slashes going across the back, and a fishnet shirt underneath. **(A/N - You know, like the slashes on the 'I' and 'Y' in the Inuyasha logo.)** He's also wearing black shorts like Sasuke's but a little longer. For the shoes, Ryoko bought him some black sandals.

For Kiyone's outfit, she's wearing a low-cut gray jacket with the collar up that goes into fishnets that wrap around her middle fingers. She also wears a charcoal gray skirt where the sides split from mid-thigh all the way down, but also some shorts like Sakura's. Last but not least, knee-high boots that lace up from the bottom.

"Looking good guys! Alright, let's get outta here." Ryoko said after she paid for the stuff. As they were passing by Neji, Tenten, and Lee, Inuyasha stopped for a second.

"-cough cough- Transvestite. -cough cough-"

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?" Neji yelled. Inuyasha was already half way out the door, snickering.

"Do you realize that he just called you a transvestite?" Lee asked.

"I know he did, and I'M GONNA KILL HIM!" Tenten and Lee were holding Neji back from running out the door and trying to kill Inuyasha.

"Ne-Neji! NEJI! Calm down! Calm down. Lee, use the tranquilizer!" Tenten said. Lee shot Neji in the neck with a tranquilizer gun, and immediately, Neji fell to the ground.

"I like lemons and waffles..." He said, dazed.

Ryoko took them around the village once more when they came across the sounds of two people arguing.

"Hey, I wonder who's arguing so loudly." Inuyasha wondered.

"Well, let's go see!" Ryoko said as she ran across the bridge.

Naruto and and a boy about his age with black hair were fighting when Kiyone, Inuyasha, Ryoko, and Hakari crossed the bridge.

"Hey, Ryoko, who's that guy fighting Naruto? He's kinda cute." Kiyone asked. Inuyasha crossed his arms and growled a little, but Kiyone didn't pay any mind to it.

"Weeeeelllllll...I'm gonna have to tell you next chapter because xXxTickleMeEmoxXx is gonna leave you on a hangover, I mean, cliffhanger right now!"

**_--------------------------------------------------_**

**xTMEx: Much love to everybody! Read and Review or face the wrath of my CLOSET OF DOOOOOM!**

**(Readers can hear screams of help from Inuyasha, Sasuke, Gaara, Itachi, Ryuho, Ichigo, and Abel from inside Kiyo's closet)**

**xTMEx: SILENCE HUMANS!**

**Inuyasha and Abel: (muffled) But we're not human!**

**xTMEx: I DON'T CARE! YOU ALL ARE MY BISHIE SLAVES AND YOU SHALL OBEY MY EVERY COMMAND!**

**(Everyone can hear whimpers coming from inside the closet)**

**xTMEx: Good boys. See? Now you know what will happen to you if you don't R&R. Mwahahahahahaha...Lotsa love to Toshi, Stephano and my readers!**


	3. The Ultimate Showdown!

**xTMEx: Hiii everyone! I'm here with my buds Toshi and Stephano! Say hi guys!**

**Toshi: Tacos!**

**Stephano: Homosexuals will one day take over the world!**

**xTMEx: Ok then...Um, I think that will settle for a hello...Anyways, como Иstas everybody?**

**Everybody: Bien, y tu?**

**xTMEx: Muy muy bien...(takes a huge breath) ME GUSTA TACOS MUY MUY MUCHO! Si...si...**

**Stephano: ME GUSTA TACOS MUY MUY MUCHO, TAMBIEN! Dunno if I said that right or not, but who gives a crap?**

**xTMEx: Not me! Yeah. Yaya. Yayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayaya...Ya...I LIKE CHOCOLATE MILK! (Looks at Sasuke with puppy eyes) Sasuke, can you get me a gwass of chocowate milk? Pweeeeeeeease?**

**Toshi: I like chocolate milk, but I'm lactose intolerant, so GIVE ME JUICE!**

**Sasuke: (Looks at Kiyo and Toshi weird) Uh...Sssssure...I'm just gonna go get that glass of chocolate milk and juice for ya...(runs off, never to return)**

**xTMEx: He's not coming back...Is he?**

**Stephano and Toshi: (Shakes head) Nuh-uh.**

**xTMEx: Hmm. I sense a chasing montage...GET BACK HERE SASUKE! I'M GONNA BEAT YOU LIKE A DRUM, BOY!**

**Sasuke: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HELP ME SOMEBODY! (Bumps into someone) Sorry...(Looks up) ITACHI?**

**Itachi: ...**

**xTMEx, Stephano, and Toshi: (Skids to a stop to see Sasuke "with" Itachi)**

**xTMEx: (gasps) INCEST! INCEST!**

**Sasuke: WHAT?**

**Itachi: (Yells) What the HELL are you talking about, woman?**

**xTMEx: Oh, I think you know very well what I'm talking about Itachi...**

**Itachi: WHAT THE -beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep-?**

**xTMEx: (gasps) Such LANGUAGE! Say you're sorry, Mr. Potty mouth! (throws a bar of soap at Itachi, which hits him in the head) WASH YOU'RE MOUTH OUT NOW MISTER!**

**Itachi: Make me!**

**xTMEx: Is that so huh? Oh, I have ways of making you...(shoves bar of soap into Itachi's mouth)**

**Itachi: AHHH! AHHH! AHHH-- Ooh, it tastes like strawberries!**

**Stephano: (sighs) As Kiyo and the incestuous duo-**

**Sasuke and Itachi: SHUT UP!**

**Stephano: Ahem...and the brothers on crack settle this, here is Chapter Threeeeeeeeee...**

**Toshi: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Disclaimer! (drags Barett in) Read the disclaimer!**

**Disclaimer: xXxTickleMeEmoxXx doesn't own anything but her happiness, insanity, and her tacos. And Kiyone. ALSO, Stephano Hungary owns Ryoko and Hakari...And her notion that homosexuals will take over the world. Yep, that's how it is, readers.**

**_--------------------------------------------------_**

**_- Chapter 3: The Ultimate Showdown! -_**

"So, anyways, who is he?" Kiyone asked, curious about the boy leaning against the tree.

"That's Sasuke Uchiha, of the renowned Uchiha clan. His brother, Itachi, whom I know personally, killed the whole clan except for Sasuke." Ryoko explained.

"That's harsh." Inuyasha commented.

"You betcha. Hey, he's coming over here." Ryoko said.

Sasuke had seen them and decided to find out who they were, since they seemed suspicious to him, and he had never seen them before. Sasuke looked the three over when he spotted Kiyone. He walked over to her and looked her straight in the eye. Kiyone gave him a defiant look and a cold stare.

"You...What's your name?" Sasuke questioned. Kiyone closed her eyes and laughed a little.

"It's common courtesy to state your own name before asking of another's." She said with a smirk.

"Hmph. Aren't you the smart one?"

"Yep. Yeesh, this guy's attitude is almost as bad as yours, Inuyasha." Kiyone said. Inuyasha crossed his arms and looked away.

"Psh..."

Sakura and Ino, who were about 50 feet away from Sasuke, were fuming. (A/N - Haha, I love to make Sakura and Ino jealous)

"H-He actually approached that girl! And he asked for her name! That never happened to us. She must be disposed of!" Ino rambled.

"I agree Ino-pig!" Sakura agreed.

"Wouldja stop calling me that, billboard brow?" Kiyone's ear twitched and she looked over Sasuke's shoulder. Her eyes widened at the sight of Sakura's forehead.

_'Wow, that pink haired girl's forehead is huge! I mean, holy crap, it's enourmous!'_ She thought. She kept listening to what they were saying and figured that they were complete idiots.

"INO, THAT GIRL MUST DIE!" Sakura said in a demonic voice.

_'Jesus, I wouldn't be surprised if this girl was the friggin' Anti-Christ!'_ Kiyone thought.

Kiyone pondered a bit on what to do when an evil smile appeared on her face.

_'I'll just humiliate the hell outta her...'_

"I'd like to see you try Sakura!" She taunted. Everyone turned their attention to Sakura, even Sasuke who looked at her weird.

"H-How did she know my name? And she heard us! How'd she hear us?" Sakura frantically asked Ino. Kiyone drew her sword, and pointed it at Sakura.

"You want me to die so badly, huh? Well, I'll take you on right now, billboard bitch! Or...are you scared?" Kiyone said with a smirk on her face.

"Eep! Ino! She scares me! Let's run away and make waffles in a fireplace!" Sakura said while running in place really fast. **(A/N - Picture it for a minute...Motor-mouth Sakura running in place reeeaally fast...There you go!)**

"Yes! Let's, Sakura! RUN AWAYYYY!" Ino screamed. And so they ran for their lives, but accidentally tripped and fell in the fireplace.

"Wow that's gonna take a looooot of plastic surgery..." Ryoko said. Hakari nodded her head in agreement.

"You act like you have a bad attitude, but can you back it up?" Inuyasha asked. Sasuke turned to Inuyasha and looked at him.

"I was about to ask the same thing."

"Hey! I have an idea! How about you two have a 3-round contest?" Ryoko suggested.

"Yeah, good idea Ryoko. How about it guys? ...Guys?" Kiyone looked at Inuyasha and saw that the two were staring each other down.

"Fine by me. I'll kick this pipsqueak's ass."

"Hmph." Sasuke snorted. "Bring it on from anywhere!"

"My pleasure!"

"Uh guys, you okay?" Ryoko asked. They were staring each other down so badly, you could actually see the lightning coming from their eyes causing sparks. **(A/N - You know like that one episode were Naruto and Sasuke stared each other down, and Naruto accidentally kissed him?)**

Now Inuyasha and Sasuke looked too close for comfort, and Ryoko pushed Inuyasha to Sasuke, and they kissed. Kiyone's eye started twitching and she turned away in disgust.

"Aw, that's disgusting! God, I can't look..." Kiyone groaned. Inuyasha and Sasuke separated and started choking and spitting.

"Damn it! That's the second kiss stolen from me!" Sasuke exclaimed.

"Hah! You've never even kissed a girl? That's pitiful, from all the attention you were getting from those two harlots a while ago! -cough-" Inuyasha gloated, and coughed.

"Oh, and you have?" Sasuke retorted.

"Hey what about me!" Naruto complained.

"Oh, Naruto I forgot you were there. Hey, do you wanna help me narrate the contest Sasuke and Inuyasha are gonna have?" Ryoko said.

"Yeah sure! Prepare to lose, Sasuke!" Naruto screamed.

"Yeah whatever." Sasuke cooly replied.

"Alright guys, your first round is an eating contest. You guys need to eat all of this without throwing up. If both of you do, we'll give the win to whoever threw up less." Ryoko explained.

"Sasuke you're so screwed! This guy looks like a real eater!" Naruto joked.

"Alright ready? Set! GO!" Ryoko yelled.

"And they're off! Inuyasha and Sasuke are off to a good start, but it looks like Inuyasha's slowing down but still pacing himself!" Ryoko screamed into the microphone.

_'Inuyasha must still be a little full, from all that ramen he ate. Which reminds me, did I pay that guy at the bar? Oh well, he won't miss it.'_ Ryoko thought.

"Oh, it looks like they're almost done Ryoko." Naruto spoke.

"Oh Naruto, I'm amazed at you're stupidity, because they're only halfway done you dumbass." Ryoko replied.

"Coming up next, Ryoko's weight."

"Go to hell, Naruto."

"Already there, Ryoko."

...Inuyasha and Sasuke just stopped...

"BLEEECH!" The both of them had finally hurled.

"You guys should've known you'd throw it all back up sooner or later! But noooooo, you men and your 'Oh I can take a little eating contest.' Just pitiful." Kiyone said. And when she took a breath, she practically died.

"OH MY GOD, THAT SMELLS!" Kiyone groaned.

"Ewwww, that's disgusting!" Ryoko moaned.

"Ahh! Hakari!" Hakari was in a corner flipped over on her backside with a flower in between her paws.

"Don't worry she didn't die." Kiyone said.

"Oh. Hey, uh, why don't you look to see who won?" Ryoko asked, pinching her nose.

"Can't...I'm gonna die..." Kiyone choked out.

"Oh come on, it's not gonna kill you."

"What did I just say?" Kiyone retorted as she took one huge breath and looked over.

"Holy cow, Inuyasha! You even threw up your ramen!" Kiyone shouted.

"Too...much...to...eat..." Inuyasha dazedly said. Then Kiyone looked over to Sasuke and saw that he definitely won the contest because he didn't have all that much.

"Ugh, Sasuke wins." Kiyone announced.

"Oh boy..." Kiyone had passed out and fallen over from the smell.

"I don't blame her for fainting becaausss-uh..." Ryoko had fainted too. -Thump- Naruto as well.

"Hey look, can we stop talking and get back to business guys?...Guys?" Sasuke said to himself.

"Ahhh great."

After recovering from their agonizing experience, everyone was getting ready for the second round of the contest.

"Ok people! The second round of the contest is...a race through the Forest of Death!" Ryoko cheerfully announced.

"Wow, it sounds so welcoming." Inuyasha said sarcastically as he looked up at the towering trees in the forest.

"No kidding...Goddamn, those trees are tall." Kiyone said, gaping at the scenery. "What are the rules for this round?" Sasuke asked.

"Weeeeelll...The first one to make it to the tower on the other side wins. Also, try not to die. Ok?" Ryoko chirped. Sasuke and Inuyasha looked at each other in fear from Ryoko's last remark when a giant blast of smoke covered the area.

"WHAT THE HELL?" Inuyasha exclaimed. The mass of smoke had finally disappeared to reveal a man on the back of a giant red toad.

"Jiraiya, the man who isn't a mountain hermit is HERE!" The man announced.

"Pervy Sage!" Naruto yelled.

"...Who?" Kiyone asked. Inuyasha slowly pointed up at the toad with his eye twitching up a storm.

"Is that a giant frog?" He asked in bewilderment.

"Of course I'm a frog! What did you expect?" The frog spoke.

"AHH! It can talk!" Inuyasha said, backing up so quickly, he accidentally fell over.

"Gamabunta." Jiraiya said.

"Got it." Gamabunta then disappeared and Jiraiya touched the ground, then walked over to Naruto.

"Naruto! How've ya been?"

"Pretty good, Pervy Sage." Naruto jokingly replied.

Kiyone and Inuyasha looked at each other with distressed looks on their faces.

"Oh no, not another one!" Kiyone yelled to the sky, being reminded of Miroku.

"Why? WHY?" Jiraiya noticed Kiyone while she was mindlessly ranting and walked over to her.

"Why, hello there miss." Kiyone cocked her head to the side and looked at him weird.

"Heh?" Jiraiya put his arm around her and was starting to freak her out.

"Erm..."

"How about we ditch these guys and go back to my place so we can get down...doggy style?" He said as he slowly lowered his hand towards -cough cough- Kiyo's "you-know-whats." Kiyone immediately started growling, then grabbed his arm and flipped him over her shoulder, sending him flying until he hit a nearby tree. She walked over to him and drew her sword, growling as she put the blade to Jiraiya's throat.

"Try that crap on me again, and I swear to you, blood will be shed, and it's not going to be mine, I can assure you that." Kiyone said in a tone that even Gaara would be scared of.

"Ok!" Jiraiya said in a small voice. Kiyone scoffed as she put her sword back in its sheath on her back and walked away.

As Jiraiya was starting to get back up, he was immediately pinned to the tree by the collar of his shirt, 2 feet off of ground.

"Touch her or say something to her like that again and you're a dead man, got it?" Inuyasha snarled. **(A/N - Hmm...Someone's a little protective, don't you agree? Suspicious...) Jiraiya nodded his head really fast, hoping to god that he wasn't gonna kill him.**

"Good." Inuyasha let go of Jiraiya's collar and walked back towards the others.

"See what you get yourself into?" Naruto asked. Jiraiya sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.

"God, it never pays to be a pervert..."

"Super pervert." Naruto corrected him.

"That too." Jiraiya said.

"Uhhh...Now that that's settled, let's go ahead and get started, shall we?" Ryoko said in an English accent. Inuyasha and Sasuke started off at a mild sprint, but before they could get to full speed, Ryoko had intervened for another moment.

"Hey guys, wait!" Sasuke and Inuyasha had skidded to a stop, and had one earphone headset put on their heads.

"These are so Kiyone and I can make sure where you are, and we can talk to you on separate lines." Ryoko explained.

"Okay now, ready, steady...GO!" This time it was full on sprint through the gate.

"Come on, I'll take us to the tower at the end." Ryoko said. "Transportation Jutsu!"

And so they poofed (-poof-) all the way to the tower. When they got there, Ryoko paged both Inuyasha and Sasuke.

"Hey guys, just to let you know, if you'll look behind you you'll see four tigers chasing after you, willing to rip you limb from limb."

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

"Uh guys? Is everything okay?" Ryoko asked.

"Yeah, I think it came from somewhere else."

Somewhere else...

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Sakura screamed.

"Ino, we burned our waffles!"

"I know!" Ino sobbed.

"Wait. Maybe there's still some time left to rescue them!"

"Right, let's save 'em!" Sakura agreed. So they jumped in the fireplace, they burned, no one helped them, and they died a horrible death...just kidding. They'll be in the hospital for a few weeks...dumbasses.

Back with Ryoko and Kiyone...

Ryoko and Kiyone were bending over the banister of the highest part of the tower, conversing with each other, not knowing that it greatly exposed their asses -cough cough-. Jiraiya noticed this and started to take advantage of the moment, he slowly walked over, and grabbed both of Kiyone and Ryoko's butts and they weren't very happy. Ryoko, Kiyone, and Hakari got up and hauntingly advanced towards Jiraiya.

"You know perv, I've had enough of your lecherous ways, and we'll be putting a stop to it, right...now."Kiyone said darkly while cracking her knuckles.

"Ohhh My GAWD! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHH! Somebody help me, dear Lord! I hate you Karma!" As you can clearly tell, that was Jiraiya.

Let's check out the damage!

He had 2 black eyes, a bloody nose, a bruised lip, a torn ear (courtesy of Hakari), 2 different shoes up his ass, a bruised stomach, 2 broken legs, and possibly internal bleeding.

"Damn that pesky perv!" Ryoko groaned. And for added measure, Ryoko stomped on Jiraiya's family jewels to how old he was...which is 50.

"My precious...No my precious!" Jiraiya moaned in pain.

"Hmph, now even I might feel sorry for the guy...Nah." Kiyone commented.

"Don't you think you should tell Inuyasha about Jiraiya's little 'endeavor?'" Ryoko asked.

"Uh...In English please?" Kiyone asked. "Should you tell Inuyasha about what Jiraiya did."

"Oh. Uh...Nah, I really don't think he could have done any better." Kiyone said while looking at a very damaged Jiraiya in a fetal position. -Flush-

"-sigh- Sorry I wasn't here for the first few minutes guys, I was in theeeeEEEE Holy crap! What the -BEEP- did you do to him?" Naruto exclaimed.

"He was feelin' us up again, so we showed him how Karma comes back 10 times worse as his actions!" Kiyone spoke.

"Bark!" Hakari said in agreement.

"Si." Ryoko said. "Oh boy, I feel a song coming on!" Ryoko shouted happily.

_I live in Mexico_

_I work at Texico_

_I earn a dollar a day, ole!_

_I go to Wal-Mart_

_To buy a Pop tart_

_And then they take my dollar away, ole!_

Kiyone and Ryoko had finished their song they had made up earlier. **(A/N- You know, this reminds me of when Sora sings in Kingdom Hearts 2...Don't know why though.)**

_- Sasuke's POV -_

"HOLY CRAP, IT'S GONNA KILL ME! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Sasuke screamed. Two of the giant fur balls were chasing after him, obviously looking as if they were gonna tear him limb from limb.

"-crrrrsh(static)- Hey Sasuke? Are you dead yet?" Ryoko asked childishly from over the headset.

"What kind of a question is that?" Kiyone yelled from the background.

"No, but if I don't get to the tower soon, I will be! AAAAAAHHHHH! Sasuke out. -click- AHHHHHHH!"

_- Inuyasha's POV -_

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Good GOD, that kid can yell! He's gonna make me deaf if he doesn't shut up!" Inuyasha said angrily.

"-crrrsh- Hey, Inuyasha! How's everything going for ya?" Kiyone asked from over the headset.

"Just fine. I'm way ahead of those damn cats. They might not be able to catch up to me. Haha!"

"Well, I'm glad your doing good. Seems Sasuke isn't. He's gonna have a nervous breakdown from what I think, you know?"

"Yeah, he's gonna make me--"

"R-Ryoko, wouldja stop tryin to listen in on our conversation? Now what?"

"Nevermind...Oh damn it all! I slacked off so now those tigers caught up to me! That's it, I'm getting pissed off! WIND SCAR!"

"Reowwwwwwr..." The cats cried in agony.

"Inuyasha? Did you just do what I think you did? Where are you?" Kiyone asked.

"Uhhhhh...Look for a couple of falling trees...RUN AWAYYY!"

Kiyone ran over to the south side of the tower to see 5 trees fall down in a circle, then a white and black blob shoot up into the air.

"Hey, guys there's Inuyasha!" Kiyone started waving at him and he waved back. A bright light blinded Kiyone from his direction.

"Agh. Inuyasha couldja put the Tetsusaiga back in its sheath? You're blinding me!"

"Oh...Sorry. Hehe."

"Hey Ryoko, where's Sasuke?"

"I don't know, I tried paging him, but he won't answer me..." Ryoko said with a hint of worry in her voice.

"Hmm...Hey Inuyasha, could you see if you can sniff out Sasuke? We think something happened to him." Kiyone said into her headset.

"Yeah, I'm on it." He replied.

_- 5 minutes later... -_

"Hey guys, I think I got a bead on him...There he is, the little weakling." Inuyasha sighed and rubbed his temples as he looked down at an unconscious Sasuke.

"And to think, this kid is supposed to be part of one of the most prestigious clans in Konoha. Jeez. Come on, ya freak." Inuyasha said as he picked Sasuke up and threw him over his shoulder.

Inuyasha brought Sasuke to the tower and set him down on the floor.

"Hmm. I wonder what happened out there." Ryoko pondered, stroking her imaginary goatee.

"Dunno. I just found him like this over a tree branch." Inuyasha replied. Kiyone kneeled by Sasuke and checked his pulse.

"Well, his vital signs seem normal. You think maybe he passed out from lack of strength?" She asked. Hakari licked Sasuke's face in hopes that he would wake up. Right then, Sasuke groaned and opened his eyes, putting a hand on his forehead.

"Hey, it's about time you woke up, ya lazy bum!" Ryoko said with her hands on her hips.

"Finally. Now we can get this thing over with. Oh yeah, who won?" Inuyasha wondered.

"Well, since Sasuke blacked out, and even if he didn't, you still would have made it here before then so in that case, you win." Inuyasha smirked and crossed his arms.

"I knew I had that round in the bag. Oh yeah!" He bragged.

"Don't get so cocky just yet, Inuyasha. We still have the last round to go before the overall winner is decided." Kiyone reminded him.

"Yeah, yeah I know..."

Naruto walked over and looked down at Sasuke strange.

"What are you looking at?" Sasuke said. Naruto hesitated for a minute.

"God, you suck, Sasuke. He completely owned you, man!" Naruto commented.

"Shut up, loser. You of all people shouldn't be talking." Sasuke retorted.

"Now I remember why I hate you so much. Loser." Naruto said in a mocking voice.

"Alrighty, let's get crack-a-lackin'!" Ryoko exclaimed. Inuyasha and Kiyone stared at Ryoko with a confused look on their faces.

"...Say what now?"

"Oh. Yeah. That's right. Neeeeeeeeeevermind..." Ryoko said, remembering about the fact that the two were from the Feudal Era.

"Whatever. Anyways, what do we have to do for the third round?" Inuyasha asked.

"Glad you asked. (insert suspenseful music) The third round will be..." Ryoko said with shifty eyes.

"...Yyyyes?"

"It will be..."

"Uh-huh?"

"Prepare yourselves for the ulti--"

"Spit it out already!" Inuyasha said impatiently.

"Ok, ok, sheesh. The third round is a...YO MOMMA CONTEST!" Ryoko exclaimed.

"...A what?"

Ryoko explained to them what a yo momma contest was, when Kiyone started snapping her fingers.

"Now why does that sound so familiar? Wait a second...I remember now! Inuyasha, do you remember when we were younger and we used to have face offs against the other kids?" She asked. Inuyasha thought for a few seconds when an imaginary light bulb lit up over his head.

"You mean when we used to hate on their moms, and the person with the best line won?"

"Exactly! That's basically what a yo momma contest is!" Ryoko excitedly said.

"Hah, this kid is so screwed! I used to be the best at this!" Inuyasha gloated.

"His head is bloated, which is why he just gloated..." Kiyone said as if she were a poet. Ryoko giggled.

"Yep, ya got that ri--...HEY!" Inuyasha yelled. Kiyone and Ryoko laughed at him.

"Guys? Can we go ahead and start now?" Naruto asked.

"Huh? Oh yeah, sure!" Ryoko said. Inuyasha and Sasuke stood across from each other, Ryoko in between, and Kiyone and Naruto behind her.

"Ok you two. Give it your best shot! Alright? Let's bully!" She yelled, karate chopping the air.

"Yo momma so fat, she stepped on a scale and it said, 'TO BE CONTINUED...'" Sasuke said.

"Hah. Yo momma so skinny she has to be faxed to the hospital!" Inuyasha replied.

"Ohhhh!"

"Yo momma so fat she was baptized at Sea World!"

"Oh, crap!" Naruto commented.

"Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry!" Kiyone snickered a bit, and Ryoko stuck her tongue out and made a retarded face.

"Oh yeah? Well, yo momma so stupid she put cheese on my dad. He's a cracker!" Sasuke said triumphantly.

"NO! No no no no no...I'm sorry but...That one sucked." Ryoko pointed out.

"Yo momma so short she committed suicide by stepping off a street curb!" Inuyasha said. Ryoko and the others 'Oh'ed'. **(A/N- I'm not sure how to describe it, but you know what I mean, right? RIGHT?)**

"Ok, ok, ok, stop! Stop!" Ryoko said half laughing.

"It is now time for the final joke! Give your best one yet, because this is what's going to decide the winner, alright? Go!" She signaled. Sasuke cracked his knuckles as he thought of his best joke.

"Yo momma so fat, instead of giving me an STD, she gave me cholesterol!" He said.

"Oh snap!" Kiyone yelled.

"Heyyyyyy, that's what happened to me! No wonder my doctor put me on Lipitor!" Came a voice.

"Hu? Who said that?" Ryoko asked, looking frantically around the room. In a puff of smoke Jiraiya appeared behind Ryoko and Kiyone.

"Jiraiya...How are you able to stand...?" Ryoko asked him slowly.

"It must have been my incredible smexiness (gropes Ryoko and Kiyone) that healed me." He said strangely.

**-BAM!-**

Both girls punched Jiraiya in the face knocking him on the ground. Ryoko walked over to him and raised her foot, ready to stomp on his family jewels, when Kiyone stopped her.

"Hey, it's my turn! You did it last time!" She complained.

"Oh, I'm sorry, knock yourself out. Or Jiraiya for that matter."

"Oh, I'm gonna make sure that this hurts. A LOT!" Kiyone said with an evil smile on her face.

"Wait, how old is he again?" She asked.

"50." Ryoko replied.

"Ah. The more fun."

"Mommy!" Jiraiya squeaked.

"ONE!"

"AHHH!"

"TWO!"

"OH MY GAWD!"

"THREE!"

"HOLY --beeep--!"

"FOUR!"

"OH MY --beeep--in' GOD!"

"FIVE"

"WAFFLES!" Jiraiya screamed. Kiyone paused for a minute and looked at Jiraiya in puzzlement.

"What the hell are waffles?" She asked.

"They are only the bestest breakfast in the whole wide world!" Ryoko chirped.

"Oh. I still have no idea what waffles are...Ok, now where was I?"

"Five."

"Oh yeah. SIX!"

_-5 minutes later...-_

"There. All done!" Kiyone said, dusting her hands off.

"Dear god Kiyone! I could never do that much damage. Wow, now I know for sure to never get on your bad side..." Inuyasha said.

"Good advice for yourself." She replied. Jiraiya was on the ground holding his balls in extreme pain, whimpering.

"I'll never be able to have babies again...YOU HAVE SCARRED ME FOR LIFE, DAMN YOU!" He yelled at Kiyone.

"Good. Now I know it worked!"

"You know, I keep thinking we're forgetting something..." Ryoko pondered.

"I HAVEN'T SAID MY JOKE YET!" Inuyasha yelled.

"Oh yeah! Ok, continue."

"Ahem. Yo momma so stupid, I told her to do the robot, now R2-D2 has A.I.D.S!" Inuyasha exclaimed. Everyone burst out laughing and started rolling on the floor at Inuyasha's joke. Sasuke started twitching all over and he stared at Inuyasha.

"Hey, Sasuke, you don't look so good. You ok?" Inuyasha asked, half laughing.

"You...You've gone TOO FAR! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" Sasuke screamed as he went for Inuyasha's throat.

"Gah! Can't...breath! Gerroffame, ya -cough- little freak!" Inuyasha choked out.

"Sa-Sasuke! SASUKE! Get offa him! Sto-Stop! Stooooopp..." Ryoko yelled as she pulled a thrashing Sasuke off of Inuyasha.

"Well, looks like Inuyasha won!" Kiyone proclaimed.

"-cough- Oh yeah! I rock! Better luck next time kid!" Inuyasha bragged.

"Inuyasha...Shut up. Look what you've done to the poor kid." Kiyone pointed at Sasuke, whose eye was feverishly twitching, along with this neck every once in a while.

"Eh, he'll get over it...eventually." Inuyasha shrugged.

"Guys! I just remembered! We have to go to the hideou--..." Ryoko stopped her sentence short when Sasuke looked at her questionably.

"I mean...We have to go hide! Frrrrrom the evil albino weasels!" Ryoko said hastily. (A/N - Hint hint, wink wink, nudge nudge. -cough- Itachi! Weasels! Ya get it? Eh...I shouldn't have said anything.)

"Oh! Um, ok...Yeah, we gotta find a good hiding place from those albino weasels! They've got really bad rabies..." Kiyone said.

"Awwww, you have to leave? Will you come back? Plleeeeeaaaassssee?" Naruto asked Ryoko with chibi eyes.

"Oh, who could resist a face like that? Of course we'll come back, Naruto! Don't know when, but I promise, we'll come back." Ryoko assured him.

"Yay!" He cheered.

"See ya, Sasuke. Hope you get over your crack overdose moment." Kiyone said to Sasuke.

"Huh? Y-yeah, sure..." He replied. Inuyasha walked over to Sasuke and held out his hand.

"Sasuke...I just have to say this man, your...momma so tall, when she did a cartwheel, she hit Jesus!" Inuyasha joked.

"AGGGHHHH! DIE, LOSER!" Sasuke yelled, coming at Inuyasha with a kunai in hand. Inuyasha ran behind Kiyone, laughing his head off.

"Inuyasha, be nice for once..." She sighed.

"You know, I'm glad you're not Kagome. Otherwise, she would have made me sit, which would have caused me great and terrible back pain." Inuyasha commented.

"Uh, thanks...I think."

"Well guys, it was fun, but we gotta go. See ya later!" Ryoko exclaimed. Hakari barked happily in agreement.

The four walked through the gates leading out of Konoha, waving good-bye. Naruto and Sasuke came to see them off, but of course, Naruto was the only one waving.

"Hey, Ryoko, what did you mean about the weasels? Are we really going to hide from them?" Inuyasha asked stupidly.

"No, dumbass! We're going to the Akatsuki hideout to see Itachi, b-duh!" Ryoko said, flicking Inuyasha on the forehead.

"Ow...Hey, that hurt! Anyways, who is this Itachi guy again?" He asked. Kiyone sighed.

"You never listen do you? Itachi is Sasuke's older brother, and he's not as schizophrenic. Also, he's kinda like the leader of the Akatsuki or something, right?" Kiyone asked.

"Got it. So, we're going back to get my next mission. I just hope he isn't too mad at me for staying away so long...Oh well, who cares." Ryoko shrugged.

"Hmm. Welp, off we go, yet on another quest for the last shard of the Shikon Jewel!" Kiyone announced, pointing to the sky.

_**--------------------------------------------------**_

**xTMEx: Alrighty, so that's the end of the Chapter Three revamp! Whooo hoo! I thought I should make it long to make up for the shorter, previous chapters...**

**Unknown person: WHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!**

**xTMEx: What was that?**

**(A streaking Toshi accompanied by a streaking Ryoko were running across the place, but Toshi tripped over a shrubbery and accidentally fell in a stream.)**

**Toshi: Ow! My buttocks!**

**Ryoko: Hahahahahaha...You fell!**

**(Hungry looking piranhas swim up to Toshi in the stream)**

**Stephano: What the HELL? Piranhas in a stream? What is the world coming to these days?**

**Toshi: Uh oh...(piranhas start eating her...and killing her) AHH! AHH! AHHH! NO! NO! GO AWAYYYYY! OUCH, IT BIT MY BUTTOCKS!**

**Ryoko: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! THE PHIRANAS ARE EATING YOU! FUNNY, FUNNY!**

**Lee: Notice how I perfectly pronounce every word I say and do not use contractions!**

**xTMEx: Ok, that was TOTALLY random...**

**Toshi: HELLO? I'm kinda DYING here! A little help!**

**Ryoko: Oooh...Pretty colorful red water!**

**Stephano: That's not red water, STUPID! That's her goddamn BLOOD!**

**Toshi: Blood? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**

**Gaara: (whacks what'****s left of Toshi upside the...half-head) SHUT UP! WILL YOU SHUT UP! (From Monty Python and the Holy Grail...do not sue please! I don't have that much money...Let alone twenty bazillion dollars...)**

**xTMEx: I swear, I choose the strangest friends...And my friends make up the strangest characters...And my friends and me make up the strangest jokes about Naruto characters...**

**Stephano: Yyyyyyep!**

**xTMEx: Well, anyways, stay tuned for Chapter 4 of...NINJAS AND DEMONS AND DOG EARS, OH MY! Oh and one more thing...REVIEW!**

**Toshi: (dead)**

**Ryoko: (pokes what's left of Toshi with a stick) Ummm...WAKE UP SLEEPY HEAD! WAKE UP! I COMMAND YE! GRARR! I SAID WAKE UP DAMN YE!**

**xTMEx: Steph, where's Ryoko's straight jacket?**

**Stephano: ...Uh oh.**

**Ryoko: WHEEEEEEEEEEE HEE HEE HEE HEEEEEEEE! WHOOOOOOOOO HOOOOO! (runs around endlessly in circles)**

**xTMEx: Until next time! Try not to die while you wait for the 4th chapter!**

**xTMEx and Stephano: BYYYYEEE!**


End file.
